Vanilla Twilight
by CloudyxRainbow
Summary: Oh if my voice could reach back through the past, I'd whisper in your ear, oh darling I wish you were here.' Implied Niley, no names used. Dedicated to a special person. Kind of sad one-shot. Rated T because I wasn't sure which one to pick.


**It's implied Niley, but there are no names used because this goes out to a special person I lost today. Read the A/N at the end and you'll know. It's a sad one-shot and I don't expect you to review. I'm just happy that you read it. Enjoy as much as you can.**

I definitely took you for granted. I sure I did and I'm sorry for that. I always thought that it was just the way it was supposed to be - you here with me. But I guess it wasn't. But can you blame me? I loved every second we spent together, even the last ones we saw each other. I don't know why you had to go. We all know it was unexpected. So here I am, lying in my bed, missing you. I know that I won't be able to sleep tonight. But I know that you're with god now and that's what's important.

_The stars lean down to kiss you_

_And I lie awake and miss you_

_Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere_

If you can hear me, could you send me something from above so I can doze off safe and soundly? Maybe I could get some sleep tonight if you do. But I'll miss your arms around me, when you hugged me goodnight before I left. If I could I would let you know how much I miss you. Maybe through a post card. Do they deliver these things to heaven? Well, probably not. But I'd just wish you were here.

'_Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly_

_But I'll miss your arms around me_

_I'd send a postcard to you dear_

'_Cause I wish you were here_

Tomorrow, I'll watch the sky and see how it turns white blue. We always did that together, remember? How you loved to just sit there and say nothing? I remember. But it's not the same without you. We'd whisper quietly so nobody would wake up. It always takes two to whisper and without you I'm alone.

_I'll watch the sky turn white blue_

_But it's not the same without you_

'_Cause it takes two to whisper quietly_

Honestly, the silence isn't that bad, when I just sit there and stare at your picture. But then I looked down and I see my hands and then I get sad. Why? Because it reminds me of how you held my hand when we walked through the park. And I remember that your hands fit perfectly in the spaced between my fingers. Oh, how I miss your hand in mine.

_The silence isn't so bad_

_Till I look at my hands and feel sad_

_Because the spaces between my fingers_

_Are right where yours fit perfectly_

Somehow I'll find repose. Maybe in new ways, but just so you know, I haven't slept in two days. Yeah, you can call me mad, but I just miss you that much. I miss everything about you. I remember back in the day we used to play cards because we were bored. That's why I can't sleep. Because nostalgia, cold nostalgia, keeps me awake and chills me through the bone.

_I'll find repose in new ways_

_Though I haven't slept in two days_

'_Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone _

But then I'll just walk out on the front porch and sit down there. I'll sit through the whole night drenched in Vanilla twilight. And I'll just think. Think about us, about me and mostly about you. Because when I think of you, I fell happy and new. I don't feel sad and I don't feel so alone.

_But drenched in Vanilla Twilight_

_I'll sit on the front porch all night_

_Waist deep in thought 'cause when I think of you_

_I don't feel so alone_

_I don't feel so alone_

_I don't feel so alone_

And I'll blink a few times, of course. And every time I blink I'll think of you. Tonight, tomorrow and every day after that.

_As many times as I blink I'll think of you… tonight_

_I'll think of you tonight_

And maybe when violet eyes get brighter and those heavy wings grow lighter, everything will be fine. I'll feel alive again. I'll be happy and I know that you're happy. That's how it's supposed to be. Both of us happy.

_When violet eyes get brighter_

_And heavy wings grow lighter_

_I'll taste the sky and feel alive again_

And to make me happy, I'll forget the world that I once knew. I'll forget the pain that so many people cost me. I'll forget my life. But the only thing I won't forget is you. You left me and somewhat hurt me, but I won't forget you, that I promise.

_And I'll forget the world that I knew_

_But I swear I won't forget you_

There are a lot of things I'd like to tell you. But I know that's not possible. But if I could and if my voice could reach back through the past I'd tell you softly and quietly that I wished you were here. Oh, how I wished you were here.

_Oh if my voice could reach back through the past_

_I'd whisper in your ear_

_Oh darling I wish you were hear_

The thing is you're not. You left me here all alone, but I'm not mad at you. I just want you to know that I love you and that I know you're fine. And you should know that I'm fine. I'm fine even though you're not here. But I guess god needed you more than I do. That makes me kind of mad at god but not at you. But god had a reason to come and get you and I respect his reason. So, here's to you and I really hope you know that I'll love you till the end of time.

**This one goes out to my granny. I'm sad to say this but she passed away this morning. I just had to write this because I knew that if I didn't get those words out I'd cry the whole night. I can't really talk right now and I can't say all of those things to anyone but I had to write them and I thought the song fit perfectly. So, granny, this is for you and like I said, I love you. **

**xoxo Christkind2009**


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